the answer to our prayers
by ohstylo
Summary: "Y'know that I love you, right?"


"Y'know that I love you, right?"

The words are spoken so mildly that it takes Murdoc a minute to proccess what 2D has just said. "What the hell are you on about?"

"I said I love you."

Murdoc stares at him, takes 2D's jaw in one hand and turns his face from side to side, examining. He frowns. "Are you high? You really need to lay off those pills, mate, y'hear me?"

2D shoves Murdoc's hand away, looking mildy offended. "I'm not high! I'm just sayin', I was talking to Russ about it and he said that I shouldn't tell you and you would kill me if you knew. But you do, right? I mean, it's obvious, innit?"

"Wait a minute. You told Russ that you _love me_? What the fuck, D? Why would you say that?"

"Cause I do!"

Murdoc shakes his head once, hard. "Is this about the coma thing? Because I woke you up? Now I know I said you owe me but not like... _that._ "

"No! I'm bein' serious, Muds. I love you, I'm in love with you. I've always been."

"Jesus fuckin' Christ." It's a sign of how much this conversation has thrown him that he momentarily forgets his own religion. "Look, I dunno what this is really all about, but you don't _love me,_ D, alright? Not possible."

"Yes I do! And not 'cause I think I owe you or think you're some kind of savior or nothin'. I...I love you 'cause you're _Murdoc Niccals_ , you're my best friend and you're brilliant. You're smart and wicked talented and you don't let anyone get in the way of what you want. And you're the only one that's gets me. Like when my brain goes all fuzzy and I can't find the right words." 2D sighs, fidgeting with his fingers. "Look, I'm not...I don't expect you to love me back, Muds. That's not what I'm sayin'. I just love you for bein' who you are, all the good stuff and bad stuff and everythin' in between. It's simple, yeah?"

Murdoc is quiet for several long moments, tossing his cigarette on the floor before snorting. "You sound like that soddin' Pablo Neruda poem."

"Yeah? Dunno who that is, but he must be dead romantic."

He feels himself smiling helplessly at that. Something, some nameless emotion is swelling under his ribs. It occurs to him, then, that it might be love. That maybe it's always been there.

The realization hits him like a Vauxhall Astra going 95 miles an hour.

He clears his throat. Clears it again. "You." Why the _fuck_ is it so hard to breathe? Tries again. "You, uh. You really feel that way, huh? About me."

"Yeah, I do."

They fall silent again.

"But I'm not...I'm not good, D. I've hurt you. Over and over again. Just go take a look in the mirror and see all the damage I've done. And I'm sorry, you know that. S'just...my head's real fucked up. And I can't be normal, I can't...talk about _feelings_ or take you on dates or all that other crap. You deserve better than. Than me." Fuck, he was word vomiting now. Next thing you know he'd be blabbering about his shitty childhood.

2D smiles, small and crooked.

"I know you're not a nice person. Y'wouldn't be Murdoc if you were. And you don't hit me or nothin' like that anymore. That was fucked up, all that stuff. But I wouldn't be here if I thought you was gonna hurt me again." He grins wider. "And for the record, we've kinda been goin' on dates for a few months now."

"What are you talking about? No we haven't."

"Mmhmm. A date is where you and another person go out someplace by yourselves and have fun. And we've been doin' that. We go out to eat, and to gigs, and you even took to me those caves you used to go to hide when you was a kid. We watched the bloody _sunset_ , Murdoc."

Murdoc thinks about it. He realizes it's true.

"Those don't count 'cause I didn't know they were dates." 2D's face falls minutely. "Guess we'll just have to go on some more, now that I'm aware."

That blue head he loves (loves!) so much snaps up, eyes boring into Murdoc's. Satan, this kid. He loves him. He _loves_ him. Murdoc feeling like singing it from the rooftops, or something equally moronic.

Instead he scratches the back of his neck, looking supremely uncomfortable. "Ain't this the part where you're supposed to kiss me or somethin'?"

2D's smile returns with blinding force, and reaches for Murdoc.

* * *

 **notes:** this takes place some time after 'taking steps in my direction', and basically 2D and murdoc are working through their laundry list of issues, and they are All Good Now, and also they fell in love a little bit, whoops

title from that plastic beach insert thing! the offical quote, presumably written by murdoc himself, is "love is and has always been the answer to our prayers" so like, do with that what you will


End file.
